If you’ve been married for a while, you know that keeping romance alive in a relationship is a lot of work. A happy partnership doesn’t have to be a perfect one. If both spouses commit and contribute equally to the undertaking, they can have a fulfilling life together. Here are ten rules to follow if you want your marriage to be successful.
Rule #1: Your Marriage Comes First – Always
Do you wake up every morning thinking about your marriage? We all have priorities, and who or what we decide to focus on is entirely up to us. Ask yourself what your relationship means and what you are willing to do to maintain it.
Your connection with your spouse should come first. To make your partner a priority, you must go on dates, communicate your needs, and sometimes say no to other people.
Rule #2: Don’t Let Money Ruin Your Marriage
While money is an inevitable part of any partnership, it shouldn’t be the focus. Don’t let money be the center of your relationship, and keep it out of the bedroom. Instead, set aside a structured time to discuss money. Setting a mutual spending limit is a good way to avoid disagreements over purchases in the future. Finally, pick something fun – a vacation home or a new car – to save up for together.
Rule #3: Speak In a Way Your Partner Can Hear You
Have you ever felt like the person you’re communicating with just isn’t hearing what you’re trying to say? People struggle openly to share their thoughts and needs, and often it comes down to different styles and strengths in communication. While you should always speak respectfully in your marriage, you may have to learn fresh ways to communicate with your partner, so they truly understand you. That may mean going on a walk to discuss issues or sharing your feelings through a letter. You don’t have to agree all the time, but you need to find a way to communicate so that your partner can understand what you’re trying to say.
Rule #4: Form The Best Friendship Of Your Life
It’s no secret that a solid friendship is the foundation of a successful romantic connection. So why do we so often let it fall by the wayside? Like any relationship, friendship needs to be maintained. Your companionship with your spouse will keep you going when times are rough and you need to weather the storms of life together. Prioritize spending time together, search for moments of joy, and find ways to make each other laugh each day.
Rule #5: Express Gratitude and Appreciation
If you have a partner whose love language is Words of Affirmation, it’s important to show appreciation daily. A simple “I love you” or “You’re amazing” can go a long way. Don’t assume your significant other knows that you are grateful for them or that you care. Show you appreciate them by using words that focus on what’s right instead of what they need to fix about themselves.
Rule #6: If You Want a Happier Marriage, Embrace Change
One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is set realistic expectations. It’s easy to get frustrated when your partner doesn’t act as you want them to. While you can’t change people, you can change your behavior and how you react to others. Are you willing to grow in your relationship? Change happens from within. Try being a better person for yourself and your spouse. You may be surprised how that inspires change in their own behavior.
Rule #7: Cut the Negativity with a Simple Code Word
Cutting out negativity doesn’t mean pretending everything is ok. Life comes with problems, and sometimes separating those issues from your relationship is complex. Do your best to leave your stress at work and avoid creating further issues within your home. Try making a code word between you and your spouse for when a conversation starts to get negative. You can use it to remind one another not to point the finger or vent your frustrations on one another. Instead, allow your partner to support you without weighing them down or making them feel responsible.
Rule #8: Learn New Techniques, Grow Your Partnership
If you want to get better at your relationship, you have to be willing to grow. One of the most valuable ways to do that is by learning new tools to improve your partnership, from reading insightful books on handling disagreements to attending couples therapy. Collaborate to build coping mechanisms for challenging circumstances and to fortify your relationship from the inside out.
Rule #9 Be Your Partner’s Biggest Fan
When you’re with someone daily, taking them for granted is easy. Being your partner’s biggest fan is a great way to express that they’re the most crucial person in your life and your number one priority. Instead of telling everyone how your loved one has failed, brag about all the fantastic ways they’ve helped you recently. Avoid speaking ill of your husband or wife behind their back; instead, find ways to praise them when they aren’t around.
Rule #10 Know Things Can Get Better
It’s challenging to picture your relationship getting better when you’re angry or hurt. However, things can improve, and you can have a successful marriage. Couples counseling is a great way to help you identify what you need in your partnership, what your loved one needs, and how you can help each other reach those expectations. It’s worth the time and effort.
Author’s Bio:
Aaron Smith is an LA-based content strategist and consultant in support of STEM firms and medical practices including Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists. He covers industry developments and helps companies connect with clients. In his free time, Aaron enjoys swimming, swing dancing, and sci-fi novels.